Only Murders In The Building Charles' Sister
Alright, let's talk about Charles-Haden Savage. We all love him on Only Murders in the Building. He's our grumpy, yet lovable, washed-up TV detective. He's got a thing for dips. He's got a complicated relationship with his love life. But there’s one person who, in my humble, and possibly unpopular, opinion, deserves a lot more screen time: Charles' sister.
Now, before you start yelling at your screens about Mabel and Oliver, hear me out. We’ve seen glimpses, right? We know she exists. We’ve heard Charles mention her. She’s out there, somewhere, probably living a life that’s significantly less dramatic than ours. And I, for one, think that’s a missed opportunity for some truly hilarious storytelling.
Think about it. We’ve spent seasons digging into Charles’ past. We know about his dad, his mom, his various awkward romantic encounters. But his sister? She’s this shadowy figure. She’s the missing piece of the Savage family puzzle. And who knows what kind of delightful chaos she could bring to the Arconia?
Imagine this: Charles is trying to unravel a complex murder. He's deep in thought, probably contemplating the perfect ratio of sour cream to mayonnaise. Then, BAM! His sister shows up. Unannounced. With a casserole. Or maybe she’s a yoga instructor who uses interpretive dance to solve crimes. Or perhaps she’s a world-renowned competitive eater who accidentally witnesses something incriminating while shoving a hot dog down her throat.
The possibilities are endless! And honestly, I think she’d be a perfect foil for Charles. He’s so rigid, so stuck in his ways. His sister could be his polar opposite. Free-spirited. Unpredictable. Maybe she even enjoys the chaos. While Charles is meticulously dusting for fingerprints, she’s busy knitting a scarf for the victim’s bewildered cat.
And let’s not forget the potential for sibling rivalry. Imagine them bickering over who was Mom’s favorite. Or who got the better gene pool (spoiler: it was probably her). This could be comedic gold. We could have flashbacks where they're little kids, fighting over a shared toy, and then cut to them as adults, still fighting, but now over a murder weapon.
Plus, she could offer Charles a much-needed perspective. He’s so caught up in his own drama, his own internal monologues. His sister could be the one to gently, or not-so-gently, point out the obvious. “Charles, are you sure you didn’t just imagine that clue because you saw it in a rerun of Brazzos?”
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I’m picturing her as someone who is completely unfazed by murder. While Charles is hyperventilating about a questionable stain on the carpet, she’s calmly suggesting they use it as a Rorschach test to see who the real killer is. Or maybe she’s an aspiring true-crime podcaster herself, constantly trying to steal Charles’ thunder. “Oh, you found a secret passage? That’s cute. I’ve got the exclusive interview with the victim’s parrot, and he’s spilling ALL the tea.”
Think of the podcast episodes! Imagine Oliver trying to interview her. He’d be in heaven. She’d probably have him audition for a role in her own avant-garde, murder-themed interpretive dance troupe. And Mabel? She’d probably be fascinated by her. A fellow woman who’s navigating the absurdities of life, but with a slightly different, more flamboyant, approach.
I know, I know, the show is called Only Murders in the Building, and the core trio is what makes it work. But sometimes, a little sprinkle of something unexpected can elevate everything. And Charles' sister is that unexpected sprinkle waiting to happen.
We need her. The Arconia needs her. The podcast needs her. She’s the wild card, the missing ingredient, the… well, the sister we didn’t know we needed but absolutely deserve.
So, to the writers of Only Murders in the Building, if you’re reading this (and I know you are, because this is exactly the kind of insightful, cutting-edge critique you crave), please, for the love of all that is funny and slightly unhinged, give us Charles' sister. Let her storm the gates of the Arconia. Let her bring her unique brand of… whatever it is she does… to our beloved murder-solving trio. We are ready. And frankly, I think she’s ready to put on a show. A really, really weird show.
I'm just saying, a character who can calmly offer Charles advice on his love life while simultaneously identifying a murder weapon by its scent profile? That's a character with range. That's a character worth exploring. We need her.
She’s the untapped potential. The unexplored territory. The relative who shows up uninvited and somehow makes everything both better and infinitely more complicated. And isn't that just the essence of great comedy, and great mystery? Let’s bring her to life. Let’s give her a name. Let’s give her a plot. And let’s all agree that this is, unequivocally, the best idea since Charles' obsession with dips.