How To Put The Toilet Paper On The Roll
Ah, the humble toilet paper roll. A cornerstone of modern civilization, really. And yet, a surprisingly contentious topic.
We’re not talking about the type of toilet paper here. That’s a whole other rabbit hole. No, we’re diving into the age-old debate. The one that silently rages in bathrooms across the globe.
How do you actually put the toilet paper on the roll? It seems so simple. A child can do it. A very small, possibly slightly confused child, maybe.
But here’s the thing. There are two, and only two, acceptable ways to do it. And if you’re doing it the “wrong” way, well, bless your heart.
Let’s talk about the over method. This is the king. The reigning champion. The one that makes sense to civilized people. The paper hangs over the top, flowing gracefully towards the front.
It’s elegant. It’s efficient. It’s what nature intended, probably. You can easily see how much paper you have left. A quick glance tells you if you’re running low.
You can tear off a sheet with one hand. A smooth, satisfying rip. No fumbling, no awkward maneuvering required. It’s a ballet of bathroom etiquette.
This method allows for optimal grip. Your fingers find the paper with ease. It’s like a helpful little hand guiding you. A paper hand, if you will.
And think of the aesthetic! The roll looks balanced. The paper drapes beautifully. It’s a mini art installation in your bathroom. A functional art installation.
Now, let’s address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the toilet paper in the bathroom. The under method. This is where things get… murky.
The paper hangs down, hugging the wall. It’s a shy paper. A paper that’s afraid of the light. A paper that wants to hide its shame.
Why would anyone choose this? It’s a mystery wrapped in an enigma, tied with a flimsy paper ribbon. It defies logic. It defies good taste.
When you need paper with the under method, it’s a struggle. You have to reach under. You have to contort your hand. It’s like trying to escape from a tiny paper prison.
Tearing off a sheet is a wrestling match. You pull. It rips awkwardly. Sometimes it just unravels in a sad, defeated clump. No satisfying rip here.
You can’t easily see how much paper is left. You have to crane your neck. You have to peer into the abyss of the under-roll. It’s a dark and mysterious place.
And the cat? Oh, the cat. If you have a feline friend, the under method is a recipe for disaster. A fluffy, paper-shredding disaster.
Cats love to bat at things that dangle. The over method offers a tantalizing, but ultimately frustrating, temptation. The under method? It's practically an invitation to a shredding party.
So, for the sake of your sanity, your guests, and any pets who might be secretly judging your bathroom choices, I implore you: choose over.
It’s not about being bossy. It’s about upholding standards. It’s about acknowledging the simple joys in life. Like a perfectly hung toilet paper roll.
Think of it as a small act of rebellion. A quiet protest against the chaos of the world. A declaration that some things are just right.
Maybe you’ve always done it the under way. And that’s okay. We all have our quirks. We all have our blind spots. Your toilet paper hanging technique might just be one of them.
But consider the evidence. Consider the ease. Consider the sheer, unadulterated pleasure of a well-placed roll.
It’s like finding a perfectly ripe avocado. Or a parking spot right outside the store. A small win that makes your day a little brighter.
And it requires absolutely no special skills. No advanced engineering knowledge. No degree in quantum physics.
Just a little bit of common sense. A touch of grace. And a willingness to embrace the superior toilet paper orientation.
So, the next time you replace that empty cardboard tube, take a moment. Pause. And remember the wisdom of the over.
Your bathroom will thank you. Your guests will thank you. Even your cat, in its own inscrutable feline way, will probably thank you.
It’s a small change. A truly insignificant change in the grand scheme of things. But sometimes, the smallest things make the biggest difference.
Like a perfectly positioned roll of toilet paper, ready to serve. A silent guardian of our posterior well-being.
Let’s spread the word. Let’s educate the masses. Let’s make the world a better, more efficiently papered place.
No more fumbling. No more awkward reaches. No more toilet paper that clings to the wall like a shy gecko.
Let’s all agree, from this day forward, to embrace the over. It’s the only way. The true way.
So, there you have it. My deeply held, yet completely unfounded, opinion on the matter. Feel free to disagree. But know that I’m right.
And if you’re still team under? Well, you do you. Just don’t expect me to use your bathroom without a little internal sigh.
It’s a tough world out there. Let’s make our toilet paper situations as smooth as possible.
The over method is the path of least resistance. The path of maximum convenience. The path to a happier, more civilized bathroom experience.
It's a simple, elegant solution to a problem that shouldn't even be a problem.
So next time, give it a try. Flip that roll. Let the paper hang free and proud.
You might just be surprised at how much joy a correctly oriented toilet paper roll can bring.
It’s a small victory. A personal triumph. A testament to the power of doing things the right way.
Let’s all aim for a little more over in our lives, shall we?
And if you ever see me in your bathroom, and the paper is under? You might just hear a faint, almost imperceptible, gasp.
It’s a matter of principle. A point of personal pride. A devotion to the over.
So let the toilet paper revolution begin!
Embrace the over. It’s the only way to fly.
Or, you know, to dry.