How To Play Poo Head Card Game (step-by-step Guide)

I remember one particularly disastrous family game night. We’d decided to break out the ol’ deck of cards, hoping for some lighthearted fun. Within minutes, however, things devolved into chaos. My Uncle Barry, bless his competitive heart, was accusing everyone of cheating, my Aunt Carol was sulking because she kept drawing the worst cards, and little Timmy, all of seven years old, was gleefully chanting something that sounded suspiciously like… well, let’s just say it involved some rather unsavory terms. Turns out, we’d stumbled upon the wonderfully (and hilariously) named game, "Poo Head." And let me tell you, by the end of the night, we were all feeling a bit like the titular poo head.

So, if you’re looking to inject a healthy dose of silliness and a touch of friendly (or perhaps not-so-friendly) rivalry into your next gathering, you’ve come to the right place. Forget your fancy bridge or your cerebral chess. Today, we’re diving headfirst into the wonderfully chaotic world of Poo Head. Prepare yourselves, because this game is as simple as it is delightfully absurd. It’s the kind of game where you can lose all dignity and still have an absolute blast. You ready to embrace your inner poo head?

What Exactly Is Poo Head?

Alright, let’s get down to brass tacks. Poo Head, sometimes also called "Asshole" (which, let’s be honest, is pretty self-explanatory for this game!), is a shedding-type card game. The main goal? To get rid of all your cards before anyone else does. Sounds simple, right? Oh, it is. But the journey to getting rid of those cards? That’s where the real fun (and the potential for utter humiliation) lies.

Think of it as a slightly more aggressive, more chaotic version of Crazy Eights. The "Poo Head" title? Well, that’s reserved for the poor soul who finishes the game last. Yes, you read that right. The person who can’t shed their cards and ends up holding the most gets crowned the… well, you know. It’s a title no one wants, but everyone secretly fears. It adds a delicious layer of dread to every card played.

The Nitty-Gritty: What You Need

Before we can start slinging cards and potentially calling each other names (affectionately, of course!), we need to make sure we’re all on the same page with the supplies. This is the easy part, I promise!

A Standard Deck of Cards: That’s it. Just one regular 52-card deck. No jokers needed for this particular brand of mayhem. You probably have one lying around somewhere collecting dust. Go on, find it!
Players: The more, the merrier! This game really shines with at least three people, but honestly, four or more is where the true chaos erupts. Imagine a big family gathering or a get-together with friends. Perfect!
A Sense of Humor (Crucial!): Seriously, you’re going to need it. This game involves strategic play, a bit of luck, and a whole lot of laughing at yourself and others. If you’re easily offended, this might not be your jam. But if you’re ready to embrace the silliness, you’re golden.

Setting Up for Success (or Spectacular Failure)

Okay, you’ve got your deck, you’ve rounded up your unsuspecting victims… I mean, players. Now, how do we get this party started? It’s super straightforward, so don’t sweat it.

The Deal: Distributing the Goods

One player is designated as the dealer. They’ll shuffle the deck thoroughly – and I mean thoroughly. No sneaky pre-arranged hands, people!

Here’s how the cards are dealt:

The Goal: Everyone needs to end up with the same number of cards in their hand.
The Process: The dealer deals out cards one at a time, clockwise, until each player has a set number. This number usually depends on the number of players. For a typical group of 4-6, 3 cards each is a good starting point. If you have more players, you might go down to 2 cards each. If you have fewer, maybe 4. The key is fairness, so everyone starts on (somewhat) equal footing.
The Leftovers: Any cards remaining after this initial deal form the draw pile. This pile stays face down in the center of the playing area.

So, to recap: deal out a set number of cards to everyone, then put the rest in a face-down pile. Easy peasy. Now, where do the fun cards come in?

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The "Burnt" Cards: A Special Kind of Hell

This is where Poo Head really starts to distinguish itself. Each player will get three face-down cards. These are your "burnt" cards. You absolutely cannot look at these cards until you’ve played every single card from your main hand. Yep, you’re playing with a secret, potentially disastrous stash. This adds a fantastic element of surprise and suspense. Will you get stuck with a hand full of high cards when you need low ones? Only time (and your luck) will tell!

Think of these burnt cards as your hidden treasure… or your hidden nightmare. You have no control over them until the last possible moment. It’s like a surprise party, but it could be a party where everyone hates the decorations. Exciting, right?

The Starting Player: Who Goes First?

This is a crucial decision, and there are a couple of ways to go about it. The most common and fair method is:

The Lowest Card: Whoever is dealt the three of diamonds (♥3) is the first player. If no one has the three of diamonds, then whoever has the next lowest three (e.g., 3 of spades ♠3, 3 of hearts ♥3, 3 of clubs ♣3) goes first. If there are multiple threes, the lowest suit takes precedence (clubs, diamonds, hearts, spades).

This ensures a bit of fairness and prevents anyone from having an immediate advantage based on a lucky first deal. If you’re feeling less formal, you could also just draw cards and whoever gets the lowest card goes first.

The Game in Action: Playing the Rounds

Alright, folks, this is where the magic (or the madness) happens. The game proceeds in rounds, with players trying to get rid of their cards.

Round 1: The Starting Hand

The first player, armed with their lowest three, starts the game. They can play any card from their hand. The play then moves clockwise.

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The Golden Rule: You must play a card of the same rank or higher than the card previously played. For example, if a 7 is played, you can play another 7, an 8, a 9, a 10, a Jack, a Queen, a King, or an Ace. You cannot play a 6 or anything lower.

This is the core mechanic. If you can’t play a card that’s the same rank or higher, you have two options:

Draw a Card: You can choose to draw one card from the draw pile. If this card can be played according to the rules (i.e., it’s the same rank or higher), you can play it immediately. If not, it goes into your hand, and your turn ends.
Pass: If you can’t or choose not to play a card and don’t want to draw, you can simply pass your turn.

Special Cards and Their Shenanigans

Now, every good card game needs its power-ups and its little twists. Poo Head is no exception! Certain cards have special abilities that can completely flip the game on its head. Get ready to strategize (or just laugh maniacally).

The 2s: "Clear the Deck!" The mighty 2 is a powerful card. When a 2 is played, it clears the discard pile. This means no one can play on top of it, and the player who played the 2 gets to immediately play another card of their choice. This is a fantastic way to get rid of a tricky high card or to regain control of the game. Think of it as a reset button, but you’re the one pressing it!
The 10s: "The Reverse Card!" Playing a 10 reverses the direction of play. If you were playing clockwise, it now goes counter-clockwise, and vice-versa. This can be super useful for catching an opponent off guard or for getting back to a player you want to pressure. It’s like a little zig when everyone expects a zag.
The Aces: "The Bombs!" Aces are the highest-ranking cards in the game (after Kings). However, they also have a special power: they can be played on any card, regardless of rank, effectively restarting the sequence. You can play an Ace on a 3, or an Ace on a King. The next player must then play an Ace or higher. If they can't, they must pass or draw. Think of them as the ultimate "get out of jail free" card… if you can afford to use it!

Pro Tip: Don’t hoard your 2s and Aces too much! Sometimes, the best time to play them is when you least expect it. A well-timed 2 can save you from a horrible hand.

The Evolution of the Discard Pile

As players play cards, they are placed face-up in a single pile in the center. This is the discard pile. The rank of the top card on this pile determines what can be played next. Remember the rule: same rank or higher!

A Full Pile: If the discard pile fills up with four cards of the same rank (e.g., four 8s), the pile is cleared, and the player who played the fourth card of that rank gets to start a new pile by playing any card from their hand. This is another way the game can reset and shake things up. It’s a little bonus for your keen observation!

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Getting Rid of Your Hand: The "Burnt" Cards Awaken!

Once a player has successfully played all the cards from their main hand, they have reached a crucial milestone. They are now ready to tackle their "burnt" cards!

This is where the real tension builds. The player flips over their three face-down "burnt" cards and adds them to their hand. They immediately start playing these cards according to the same rules (same rank or higher). They can’t look at them beforehand, remember? So, they’re essentially playing blind again, but this time, with much higher stakes.

The game continues for this player, now with their new, albeit unknown, hand. They are still trying to shed these cards. It's a race against time (and everyone else!).

Winning (and Losing) the Game

The game continues until only one player has cards left in their hand.

The Victor!

The first player to successfully get rid of all their cards (including their "burnt" cards) is the winner! They have successfully navigated the treacherous waters of Poo Head and emerged victorious. They are, in a way, the king or queen of the castle… until the next round, at least.

The Dreaded "Poo Head"

And then there’s the other person. The last person left holding cards is officially crowned the "Poo Head" for that round. This title is, shall we say, less than prestigious. You’ve been warned!

How to Play Garbage (Trash) the Card Game: Rules & Variations

The "Poo Head" usually has to perform some sort of silly forfeit, which can range from doing a silly dance to buying the next round of drinks or snacks. The exact forfeit is usually decided by the group beforehand, so feel free to get creative (and a little bit cruel, in a fun way!).

Variations and House Rules: Make It Your Own!

While the basic rules of Poo Head are simple, the beauty of a casual card game like this is that you can absolutely tweak it to suit your group. Don’t be afraid to experiment!

Different Starting Cards: Some groups might decide that the 4 of Diamonds starts the game instead of the 3. It’s all about what works for you.
Special Card Powers: You could assign different powers to other cards. Maybe Jacks are wild? Or Queens allow you to steal a card from someone? The possibilities are endless. Just make sure everyone agrees on the rules before you start!
"Big" and "Small" Cards: Some variations have specific rules for "small" cards (like 2s, 3s, 4s) and "big" cards (like Kings, Aces). This can add another layer of strategy.
The Forfeit for the Poo Head: As mentioned, the forfeit is a great way to add extra fun. Make it something memorable!

The key is to have fun and ensure everyone understands the agreed-upon rules. A quick recap of the special cards and any house rules before you start is always a good idea, especially with new players.

Why Play Poo Head?

So, why would anyone choose to play a game with such a… unique name? Well, for starters, it’s incredibly easy to learn. You can teach it to new players in under five minutes. It requires minimal brainpower, making it perfect for a relaxed evening after a long week. It’s also a fantastic icebreaker and can lead to some genuinely hilarious moments.

Plus, there’s a certain catharsis in the sheer absurdity of it all. When you’re playing a complex strategy game, there’s a lot of pressure. With Poo Head, the pressure is off. You’re encouraged to laugh at yourself, to make silly plays, and to just enjoy the company. And let’s be honest, who doesn’t love the thrill of potentially being crowned the "Poo Head"? It’s a badge of dishonor that we all secretly wear with a smile.

So, next time you’re looking for something to do, grab a deck of cards, gather some friends, and embrace the delightful chaos that is Poo Head. You might just find yourselves yelling "Poo Head!" across the room, and honestly, there’s no better feeling.