How Do You Know If You Want To Marry Someone
So, you've been dating someone for a while. Things are good, maybe even really good. You're comfortable, you laugh a lot, and their presence just feels… right. But then the Big Question starts to tickle the back of your mind: "Is this the one? Should I, you know, marry this person?"
Ah, marriage. It's a word that can conjure up images of wedding bells, sappy movies, and maybe a tiny bit of panic. Let's be honest, deciding to spend your forever with someone isn't exactly a walk in the park. It's more like a marathon… with occasional confetti cannons. But don't worry, my friend, we're going to break it down. No stuffy advice here, just some honest, friendly chat about how you really know when it's time to start practicing your signature on those endless legal documents. (Okay, maybe not that part.)
The "No-Brainer" Zone
First things first, let's talk about the obvious stuff. You know, the things that make you go, "Duh!"
You Actually Like Spending Time Together
Shocking, I know! But seriously, do you genuinely look forward to seeing them? Is their company something you crave, not just something you tolerate because, well, they're there? If the thought of a weekend without them makes you a little sad instead of ecstatic (hello, all the snacks and zero sharing!), that's a pretty good sign.
It's not just about the epic dates or the romantic getaways. It's about the mundane. Can you sit on the couch in comfortable silence, scrolling through your phones, and feel perfectly content? Can you spend a whole rainy Saturday doing absolutely nothing and still feel connected? If the answer is a resounding "yes!" then congratulations, you've already cleared a major hurdle. This is the foundation, people! Without this, you're basically building a house on quicksand, and nobody wants that. Unless you're a very adventurous architect, in which case, you do you.
They Make You a Better You
Ever notice how you’re a little kinder, a little more patient, or a little braver when you're with them? It’s like they bring out the best version of yourself. They don't necessarily change you, but they inspire you to be more of the person you want to be. They see your potential, even when you’re tripping over your own feet (metaphorically, of course… unless you’re also a clumsy person, then literally).
Think about it: do they encourage your dreams? Do they support your passions, even the slightly bizarre ones (like your intense collection of vintage teacups)? Do they challenge you to grow in healthy ways? If they do, then they're not just a partner; they're a personal cheerleader, a muse, and a professional hug-giver all rolled into one. That's gold, my friend. Pure, unadulterated relationship gold.
You Can Be Your Messy, Weird Self
This is a big one. Can you burp without feeling mortally embarrassed? Can you admit when you’ve completely messed up? Can you wear your most comfortable, slightly stained sweatpants and not feel judged? If they love you for all of you, the good, the bad, and the utterly ridiculous, then you've struck the jackpot. You shouldn't have to put on a show or pretend to be someone you're not. True love means embracing the quirks and the occasional questionable fashion choices.
Imagine this: you've had a terrible day, you come home looking like you wrestled a badger, and your partner doesn't just tolerate it; they make you a cup of tea, offer a foot rub, and maybe even join you in your badger-wrestling outfit. Okay, maybe not the outfit part, but you get the idea. They create a safe space for your authenticity. That's the kind of safety net you want when you're considering a lifetime commitment. It's like a cozy blanket of acceptance, and who doesn't want that?
The "Deeper Dive" Questions
Okay, so the surface-level stuff is looking good. Now, let's get a little more serious, but still keep it light, okay? We're not performing brain surgery here.
How Do You Handle Fights?
Every couple fights. It's inevitable. The earth would probably stop spinning if we all agreed on everything. The key isn't avoiding arguments; it's how you navigate them. Do you fight dirty, or do you fight fair? Do you listen to each other, or do you just wait for your turn to speak? Do you both aim to win, or do you aim to understand and resolve?
Think about your last disagreement. Did you end up feeling closer or more distant? Did you feel heard and respected, even if you didn't get your way? If your fights leave you feeling like you've been through a verbal wrestling match where someone lost an ear (figuratively speaking, of course), that's a red flag. But if you can have heated discussions, apologize sincerely, and come out the other side with a stronger connection, then you're golden. This is where the real communication skills shine. It's like a relationship training montage, but with more talking and less sweat. (Unless you get really worked up, then maybe some sweat.)
Do Your Values Align?
This isn't about agreeing on your favorite ice cream flavor (though that's important too, obviously). It's about the big stuff. What do you believe in when it comes to family, finances, career, and how you treat people? Do your core values generally mesh? You don't need to be clones, but if your fundamental beliefs are wildly different, it can create friction down the road. It's like trying to build a house with two different blueprints. It's going to get wobbly.
For instance, if one of you believes in saving every penny for a rainy day and the other believes in YOLO-ing it up with spontaneous trips to Fiji, you might have some interesting budgeting discussions. Or if one of you has a strong desire for a large family and the other is perfectly happy with a pet goldfish named Bartholomew, well, that's a conversation worth having early on. It's about building a shared vision for your future, even if it's a future that involves a tiny bit of compromise on Bartholomew’s family size.
Can You See a Future With Them? (Like, A Real Future)
This is where that "marriage" word really starts to loom. When you picture yourself in five, ten, or even twenty years, are they in that picture? Is it a picture you want them in? Do you find yourself naturally including them in your future plans, big or small? Do you think about things like "our house," "our retirement," or "who's going to feed the hypothetical future dog?"
It's not just about imagining them there; it's about feeling excited about that shared future. Do you envision growing old together, supporting each other through thick and thin, and maybe even becoming those adorable old couples who finish each other’s sentences? If the thought of that future with them fills you with a warm, fuzzy feeling (and not a cold dread), then that's a very good sign indeed. It’s like a sneak peek into your happily ever after, and it looks pretty good.
Do They Bring Out Your Sense of Adventure?
Life can get routine, and that’s okay. But a partner who encourages you to step outside your comfort zone, try new things, and explore the world (or even just your local park) can make life so much richer. Do they inspire you to be curious and open to new experiences? Do they make you want to say "yes" to more things?
Maybe they encourage you to try that new restaurant you’ve been eyeing, plan a spontaneous road trip, or even just learn a new skill together. It's about shared growth and the creation of lasting memories. These are the stories you'll tell your grandkids. Well, hopefully, they’ll be good stories. No one wants to hear about the time you got lost in the grocery store for three hours. But the time you hiked to that waterfall and saw a rainbow? That's a keeper. And a partner who helps you make those moments happen is a keeper too.
The "Gut Feeling" Factor
Sometimes, logic takes a backseat, and your intuition just screams at you. Listen to that voice!
The "Calm" Test
When you're with them, do you feel a sense of peace and calm? Or are you constantly on edge, worried about saying or doing the wrong thing? Marriage is a big commitment, and you want to feel like you can truly relax and be yourself in your partner's presence. This isn't about being bored; it's about feeling safe and secure.
Think of it like this: if your life was a rollercoaster, would they be the person you feel safe holding hands with at the top of the biggest drop? Or would you be white-knuckling the safety bar and contemplating jumping out? If you feel a sense of ease, a lack of anxiety, and a genuine feeling of being "home" when you’re with them, that’s a powerful indicator. It's the feeling that everything is going to be okay, even when things get a little bumpy.
Your Friends and Family Give the Thumbs Up (Mostly)
7 Signs He Wants to Marry You (Get excited!) - YouTube
Now, I'm not saying you should base your entire decision on what Aunt Mildred thinks. She might have a very peculiar definition of a "good match" (she once suggested you marry the mailman because he was "punctual"). But if the people who know and love you best see something special between you two, and they generally approve, that's worth considering. They often see things we don't, especially when we're blinded by love. They're like your personal, slightly biased, focus group.
If your friends are constantly saying, "You two are so cute together!" or your family members are asking when you're going to "make it official," that's a good sign that you're radiating relationship happiness. Plus, they’ll be there to help you with the wedding planning, which is a win-win in my book. More hands make lighter work, and more people to distract you from the seating chart drama.
You Can't Imagine Life Without Them (And Not in a Panicked Way)
This is the ultimate test, I think. When you genuinely can't picture your life without them, it's not because you're afraid of being alone. It's because they've become an integral part of your world, your happiness, and your future. They’re woven into the fabric of your existence, and the thought of them not being there leaves a gaping hole. It’s like trying to imagine your favorite song with a missing chorus – it just wouldn't be the same.
It's the realization that the joy you experience is amplified by their presence, and the challenges you face are made more bearable with their support. It’s the quiet understanding that your life is simply better with them in it. It’s not about dependence; it’s about mutual enrichment. They don't complete you; they enhance you. And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing. It’s the kind of feeling that makes you want to grab them, give them a big squeeze, and whisper sweet nothings into their ear. Or maybe just order pizza and watch a movie. Whatever floats your boat!
Ultimately, knowing if you want to marry someone is a deeply personal journey. There's no magic checklist that will give you a definitive "yes" or "no." It's a feeling, a certainty that grows over time. It’s the quiet confidence that you’ve found your person, your rock, your favorite human being on this planet. And when you find that, you’ll just know. It’s like finding the last piece of a puzzle that makes the whole picture make sense. So breathe deep, enjoy the process, and trust your heart. Because when you find that special someone, your heart will be doing a happy little dance, and you’ll know that you’ve found your forever adventure. And who wouldn't smile at that?