Advice And Wishes For The Parents To Be
My friend Sarah, bless her cotton socks, called me in a mild panic a few months back. She was, let’s just say, very pregnant. Like, "could-you-pass-the-ice-cream-and-also-my-ankles-are-swollen-to-the-size-of-small-watermelons" pregnant. She was staring at a pile of tiny onesies, a mountain of unread parenting books, and a general aura of bewildered excitement. Her exact words were, “Am I… am I actually going to be a parent? Like, a real one?”
It’s a question that echoes through so many expectant parents, isn’t it? That dizzying mix of joy, terror, and the nagging feeling that you’ve somehow been handed the keys to a very important, very unpredictable vehicle without attending a single driving lesson. And let me tell you, Sarah is now a pro. A sleep-deprived, coffee-fueled, diaper-changing pro. But that initial wobble? Totally normal.
So, to all of you navigating those glorious, terrifying, utterly magical months of waiting, this is for you. Consider this less of a “how-to” guide (because honestly, who truly knows how to do this?) and more of a friendly nudge, a whispered “you’ve got this,” and maybe a gentle reminder to laugh when things get a bit… bonkers. Because, oh boy, will they get bonkers. In the best possible way, of course.
The Big Welcome: Embracing the Unknown
First off, congratulations! Seriously, take a moment and soak it in. You’re about to embark on the wildest, most rewarding adventure of your lives. It’s like signing up for a marathon you didn’t train for, with a fuzzy prize at the end that makes all the blisters worthwhile. And trust me, there will be blisters. Figuratively, and possibly literally, if tiny human feet decide your toes are a convenient chew toy. shrugs
My biggest piece of advice, as someone who has… observed… this process unfold a few times, is to expect the unexpected. You can read all the books, attend all the classes, and have the most meticulously planned nursery, but your little one will have their own agenda. And that’s not a bad thing! It’s actually part of the magic. It’s the universe’s way of keeping things interesting, right?
Don't get me wrong, planning is good. Having a general idea of what you’re doing is definitely a plus. But flexibility is your superpower. When your perfectly timed feeding schedule gets thrown out the window by a sudden growth spurt, or your carefully curated bedtime routine dissolves into a symphony of cries at 3 AM, take a deep breath. You’ll figure it out. You always do.
Navigating the Early Days: The Land of Sleep Deprivation and Unconditional Love
Ah, the newborn phase. It’s a beautiful, chaotic blur. You’ll become intimately familiar with the hours between midnight and dawn. You’ll master the art of changing a diaper with one hand while simultaneously trying to silence a wailing tiny human with the other. You’ll probably question your sanity at least once (or twice, or twenty times). And that’s okay!
Remember that you are not alone. Every single parent who has ever existed has been where you are. We’ve all had those moments of doubt, those nights where the silence after the crying feels deafening, and you wonder if you’ll ever sleep again. The good news? You will. Eventually. Maybe not for a while, but it will happen. Hold onto that thought during those long nights. It’s like a tiny beacon of hope in the darkness.
Also, and this is a big one, accept help. Seriously. If someone offers to bring over a meal, say yes. If your mom offers to watch the baby so you can take a shower (a real, sit-down shower!), embrace it like it’s a five-star spa day. If your friend offers to fold laundry, let them. You are not failing by accepting help. You are being smart. You are allowing yourself to be nurtured so you can better nurture your little one. Think of it as a strategic refueling stop.
And about the advice you’ll receive… brace yourselves. You’ll get it from everyone: your great aunt Mildred, the cashier at the grocery store, the random stranger at the park. Some of it will be gold. Some of it will be… questionable. Learn to filter. Listen politely, smile, and then do what feels right for your family and your baby. Your instincts are often the best guide you’ll have.
The Two-Parent Tango: Teamwork Makes the Dream Work (and Surviving Parenthood)
If you’re doing this with a partner, this is where the “teamwork makes the dream work” cliché really comes into play. You are now officially co-captains of this beautiful, messy ship. And let me tell you, communication is going to be your best friend. More important than any parenting book. More important than fancy organic baby food.
Talk to each other. Really talk. About how you’re feeling, about what you need, about who is going to tackle the midnight feeding tonight. It’s easy to get lost in the baby bubble, to feel like you’re on opposite sides of a very tired, very demanding island. Make a conscious effort to connect, even if it’s just for five minutes of stolen quiet time. A shared look, a knowing smile, a hand squeeze – these small gestures can mean the world.
And share the load. This isn’t about keeping score. It’s about making sure neither of you is drowning. If one of you is more comfortable with diaper changes, great. But maybe the other person is the designated burper. Or the one who can soothe the baby back to sleep when they wake up crying (again). Figure out your strengths and lean into them, but also be willing to step outside your comfort zone and learn new skills. This is a learning curve for both of you.
Don’t forget to cherish each other. In the midst of all the baby madness, it’s easy to forget that you were a couple before this tiny human arrived. Make time for date nights, even if it’s just ordering takeout and watching a movie on the couch after the baby is asleep. Reconnect. Remember why you fell in love in the first place. This shared experience, while exhausting, is also incredibly bonding. It’s a testament to your love and commitment.
Self-Care: It’s Not Selfish, It’s Survival
Okay, I know this sounds like a unicorn in the world of new parenthood, but self-care is crucial. And I don’t mean a full spa day every week (though if you can swing that, more power to you!). I mean the small, sustainable things that keep you from completely losing your mind.
This could be as simple as taking 15 minutes to read a book, going for a short walk by yourself, or even just enjoying a hot cup of coffee in peace. It’s about carving out those tiny pockets of time to recharge your batteries. Because let’s be honest, you’re running on fumes for a good chunk of time. And you can’t pour from an empty cup. nodding sagely, as if I’ve always practiced this myself
And for the parents who are breastfeeding or pumping: take care of your body. You’re doing amazing work. Hydrate, eat nutritious food, and rest whenever you can. Seriously, sleep is a precious commodity, so grab it whenever it’s offered. Even a 20-minute nap can feel like a full eight hours when you’re in the thick of it.
Remember to be kind to yourselves. You are not going to be perfect. There will be days where you feel like you’ve messed everything up. You’ll make mistakes. You’ll have moments of frustration. This is all part of the journey. Forgive yourself. Learn from it. And then move on. This is a marathon, not a sprint, and every parent, no matter how experienced, has those “what am I doing?!” moments.
Wishes for Your Journey: May Your Coffee Be Strong and Your Love Be Stronger
As you embark on this incredible new chapter, here are some wishes from my heart to yours:
- May your coffee be strong, and your naps be plentiful (even if they’re short and interrupted).
- May your baby’s cries be few, and their smiles be many. And may those early morning smiles make up for all the lost sleep.
- May you find joy in the little things: the way your baby snuggles into your chest, the first time they hold your finger, the sheer, unadulterated relief of a successfully executed diaper change without any… explosions.
- May you have a supportive village, people who lift you up, offer a listening ear, and remind you that you’re doing a fantastic job.
- May your love for each other grow and deepen through this shared experience. It’s a powerful bond, this parenting journey.
- May you remember to laugh. Seriously. There will be moments so absurd, so hilarious, that all you can do is laugh. Embrace them. They’re the stories you’ll tell for years to come.
- May you be patient, with your baby and with yourselves. This is a learning process for everyone involved.
- And most importantly, may you feel the immense, overwhelming, all-consuming love that comes with holding your child for the first time, and every time after. It’s unlike anything else in the world.
So, to all the expectant parents out there, take a deep breath. You are stronger and more capable than you know. The journey ahead is going to be challenging, messy, and utterly breathtaking. Embrace it all. You’ve got this. And if you ever need a reminder, or just someone to share a funny parenting anecdote with, you know where to find me. Now go forth and make some tiny humans!